how can u be prego again
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
