im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
