It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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