the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
