I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The power of my boobs compel you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
