I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
