She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
