Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
