i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
