as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
