I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
