So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
