Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
