I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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