The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
