How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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