But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
