Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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