The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
