I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
