Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
