I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
