youre lurking in front of me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
