There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pooping to opera.
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