screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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