I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
