I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
