so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
did i just pee glitter
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
