my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
