i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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