I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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