whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
