I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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