yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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