My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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