You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
