the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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