Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
