so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
