i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
