I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
