Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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