clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
