youre lurking in front of me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
