Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
