im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
