Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
