Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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