I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
this boner is exhausting
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize