Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
