Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize