we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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