I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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