loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize