you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
