just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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