yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
