so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize