After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
