You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
