what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
